Tours of the Commonwealth by The Lucifer Golfing Society are generally mixed as the ladies play a very important role in the life and well-being of the Society. Indeed, the last tour to British Columbia in 2013 was a mixed one of greater length. However, on occasion, a short member-only tour of about a week is undertaken, such as to Toronto in 2019 and now in 2024 to British Columbia.
Five members gathered outside the Fairmont Waterfront Hotel in Vancouver on the afternoon of 31 August to await being joined by the other seven tourists on the Gatwick Express. We were then transported by coach to the Fairmont Hotel in Whistler. The day was a long one for those arriving from Gatwick not helped by a significant delay for the golf bags to arrive and then the almost three-hour drive to Whistler, though your scribe, being clearly on Sydney time, did his best to keep everyone awake with his constant chatter. An early dinner was taken at the Bearfoot Bistro in Whistler Village, where the two winos, David Mitchell and your scribe, had their first of many encounters with a Canadian wine list, which was extensive and quite international. Just as well as the challenge was to ensure the Captain Elect never had to drink chardonnay.
After breakfast we boarded the coach to Big Sky Golf Club in Pemberton, some 35 kilometres north of Whistler where we were met by John Nichol, who was instrumental in arranging for us to play on what was a very pretty golf course framed by the mountains. It was a very hot day and those taking a cart for this warmup match were undoubtedly the sensible ones. On the coach up your scribe, having been chastised for being somewhat rude to Max Factor (aka Baggage Master; aka Colin Hely-Hutchinson) in a pre-tour WhatsApp message about long socks (not worn in Canada), duly presented him with a Lucifer golf shirt on behalf of the Match Society of NSW to add to his growing collection of Lucifer clothing.
That evening we went down to Whistler Village for dinner at Quattro, an Italian restaurant recommended by John Nichol, who was our guest. The Treasurer, Charles Maisey, who accompanied us on tour, despite a recent shoulder injury which prevented him from playing, was horrified to find the two winos ordering freely from the wine list, including a ‘very special’, excellent Chianti Classico in magnums. Several were consumed together with Italian Soave wines to cries of ‘more white wine’ from new tourist, Robert ‘Molesworth’ Moulsdale and ‘more red wine’ from the Hon Scribe, Alan Arscott.
The next morning, we left Whistler after breakfast for a 5-hour travel day to Victoria on Vancouver Island, which comprised a long drive and then a 90-minute ferry ride. The Captain Elect, despite your scribe’s attempt to keep him awake, elected to sleep throughout the drive, having been shamed into admitting his WhatsApp identity was Amanda not Bryan.
On arrival at The Empress Hotel, another Fairmont establishment, in Victoria, there occurred one of those moments that happen on all good tours, namely the loss or mislaying of someone’s bags. Alas for Colin, the Baggage Master, it was the bag of the Treasurer. It seemed the bag failed to make it from outside the hotel in Whistler to the bus. However, later that evening the bag duly arrived, thanks to Colin, our driver, the Fairmont hotel group and Harbour Air arranging for it to be sent by seaplane from Whistler to Victoria.
At dinner that night at The Wind Cries Mary in downtown Victoria, we were joined by a number of our friends from the Victoria Golf Club, together with Toronto Strikers, Ted Clarke and Colin Fraser, with their wives. A delightful evening was had by all.
Tuesday 3 September dawned early for many thanks to persistent jet lag and we headed off to The Royal Colwood Golf Club for our first match. Unfortunately, we learnt that only a few days before our intended host, RIchard Austin, who was made (in his absence) an Honorary Overseas Lucifer, had suffered a heart problem and was not just off games but confined to home. Having been assured he was doing well and expected to make a full recovery, we were hosted by the charming, John Ainsworth known affectionally at Colwood as their own Ian Woosnam, and his fellow members.
We had a delightful day’s golf in perfect weather on one of the many courses designed by A V Macan. Macan was an Irish immigrant born in 1882 and dying in 1964 having designed some 50 courses in Canada and North America including all of the ones we were to play in Victoria and Vancouver. He fought in the First World War and lost a leg at Vimy Ridge but, despite that, continued to play competitive golf upon his return to Canada and to design golf courses. He considered Shaughnessy golf course where we were due to play on Thursday to be his finest design in Canada.
The attention to detail of our hosts at Royal Colwood was magnificent featuring Union Jack adorned sausage rolls at the halfway house and prime beef at dinner. The tour party felt a great affinity towards our hosts, and we hope this results in many of them coming over to the Commonwealth Tournament in the future.
We were also obliging guests losing the match comfortably, despite our ringer of the day, Doug Sear, whose children are both golf professionals, getting your scribe over the line. It was lovely that Gerry Kelly, who won the Commonwealth Tournament in 2006, and his wife were able to join us for dinner along with our Striker friends, Ted Clarke, who won the Tournament in 2005, Colin Fraser, the President of the Strikers, and their wives.
The dinner gave our Captain, Mark Dumas, the first of many opportunities to read out a kind message he had received from our Patron, Vice Admiral ir Timothy Laurence and also to show the trophy presented to our host clubs in Victoria and Vancouver. This trophy is to be known as The Wildfire Trophy and is in fact the actual trophy presented to the winner of the Commonwealth Tournament in 1938, who was C J Guthrie from Nigeria. The trophy was located on the internet by the Lucifers, then purchased and refurbished for its new purpose. It is to be played for annually by all those from British Colombia who have played in the Commonwealth Tournament and our Overseas Lucifer for Victoria, Sean Midwood, will be making the necessary arrangements.
Wednesday 4 September saw us at Victoria Golf Club where we played our second match on tour against members of Victoria GC led by their Captain Iain McLean, the winner of the 2019 Lucifer Commonwealth Tournament, and Overseas Lucifer Sean Midwood. In the absence of Charlie Maisey from golf, our ringer was Ted Clarke.
Today was an improved performance by the touring party with an honourable halved match. Again, it was a beautiful day, and the five holes nestled along the Strait of Juan de Fuca on the Pacific Ocean were magnificent. It is quite simply a beautiful place to play golf.
Much to the disappointment of our hosts we had, in spite of their wonderful hospitality, to depart after drinks and a light lunch in time to catch a couple of seaplanes to Vancouver.
However, the day was made all the more memorable by the exploits of our Commonwealth Scribe, Michael ‘Jason’ Bourne, who clearly could not make up his mind over his identity, supremacy, or his legacy. By way of an ultimatum, he not only chased his golf trolley into a bunker but also fell over on the course a number of times; no doubt he got tangled up in his trolley, but his face and knee did look quite a mess as a result. However, it did allow Julian Hill to find a use for his towels, which meant he didn’t have to travel home with them. ‘No logos for me please’.
While we all took the seaplanes to Vancouver, our intrepid driver Colin drove via the ferry from Victoria to Vancouver and delivered our bags to the Fairmont Waterfront Hotel, where they awaited us upon our return from dinner. Dinner was at The Coast restaurant as recommended by our Captain, who said he had been there before but on arrival proceeded to go into the restaurant next door. We had great service, many beers and cocktails, good wine and excellent seafood. A superb day made ‘very special’ by the scenic 45-minute trip by seaplane.
The following day, Thursday 5 September, was our day at Shaughnessy Golf Club. The club has hosted a number of Canadian Opens and recently an LPGA event. It is a well-regarded layout and proved too demanding a test for some of us, though we only lost the match by one point.
We were welcomed by our host and Shaughnessy legend, Ken Woods, our Overseas Lucifer for Vancouver, who unfortunately, suffered a stroke shortly after the 2022 Commonwealth Tournament and, while making a good
recovery, is not sufficiently mobile to play golf. The meet-and-greet and light lunch got us underway before the obligatory practice session. We were honoured with named lockers in the five-star locker room. Again, the weather was perfect as was the form of our ringer for the matches in Vancouver, Chris Kololian, a Canadian member of Shaughnessy and Royal St George’s in Kent and thus well known to your scribe, Justyn Comer and David Mitchell.
Our top pairing of Max Factor (aka Colin) and Julian (soon to be known as Judith after a misnamed take away coffee) drew the marquee match with Andy Robb (+4 handicap and winner of the 2024 British Mid-Amateur) and his great friend, Henry Wright. It was by all accounts a good match with an honourable half being the result.
Our Treasurer patrolled the fairways as he did at every course exhorting us to greater efforts, chasing down lost balls and returning misplaced clubs to their owners.
Dinner in the clubhouse featured tender Canadian Angus Beef with an extraordinary Pinot Noir that probably wasn’t, gifts of hipflasks (making a change from towels, though we may have received these too), topped off with extraordinary sight of Hambles in his golf shirt and jacket (or coat as Richard Blake would have it) and golf shorts as he had forgotten his long trousers and a change of clothes. Shades of prep school perhaps.
Excellent speeches were delivered by Ken Woods and our Captain, who bestowed the honour of Honorary Overseas Lucifer upon Ken. Mark presented Shaughnessy with a Lucifer plaque as he had at the other clubs and hoped that ‘you can find somewhere to shove it’. Mark also reminded us that the Lucifers ethos included ‘seeking with Commonwealth tours to make the world smaller through golf.’
On the coach back to the hotel our fearless and easily the best dressed tour leader, Derek Scott, remarked that the advice he had received on the golf course from his opponent was such as to make your scribe seem like a silent movie – a rare achievement in the context of our chatty coach journeys.
Day 7 of the tour brought us to Capilano Golf Club where our good friend, John Nicol, is a member. We were warmly greeted by Ken Scott, Club President, whom Derek and your scribe got to know on the recce in May last year. Alas, for some strange and unexplained reason we had also collected a junior set of golf clubs belonging to Johnny Wong of Shaughnessy, who doubtless was unable to defend the junior championship. Max Factor?
It was once again warm and sunny and most of us used golf carts in view of the hilliness of the course, which was in spectacular condition with remarkable views. Once again for some strange reason we used the practice facilities extensively and this time to good effect as we had a resounding win. This may also have been attributable to us not receiving towels as gifts.
Your scribe had the pleasure of playing with one of our new tourists, Justyn Comer, and our narrow defeat on the last green in no way dampened our spirits, not only due to the rest of the team grinding out a memorable win but also because of Justyn’s hole-in-one at the 11th hole. This may well have been the first Lucifer hole-in-one on tour.
His shot at this short hole played over water and approached immediately after a snack at the halfway house was not greeted with acclamation by
Justyn and his playing partners as the hole was played directly into the sun so no balls could be seen to land. Approaching the green there were three balls on the green but the other was nowhere to be seen until Justyn spotted the pitch mark in front of the hole. Upon looking into the hole, he found his ball to loud cheers from us all.
After drinks and a shower in the Member’s Locker Room and a lot of ‘ohs and ahs’ at Justyn’s feat and also over the photo of bears on the course captured by Mike Bourne, thus cementing his
legacy, we headed upstairs for a wonderful golf club dinner. It was accompanied by good British Columbian wines from the Okanagan Valley (not the Okavango Delta in Botswana as your scribe was
prone to say) and to our delight Amanda was, amongst other clothes, wearing long trousers.
Presentations were made by Capilano to Justyn Comer for his hole in one and Derek Scott for nearest the pin on the 14th. Speeches from Ken Scott and Mark Dumas concluded the evening and the formal part of our tour. Upon returning to the hotel there was just time for the magnificent seven to be treated to champagne in the celebrated bar at the Fairmont Pacific Rim by Justyn. The four winners sat at the top of the table and the three losers were at the bottom, but we had an equal measure of champagne. Handwritten scribbles suggest Derek may have had a cup of Horlicks.
Saturday 7 September was the last full day for most of us and it gave us the opportunity to arrange various trips in the area such as whale watching, cycling and simply exploring the city by bus or by foot. Your scribe, being something of a wine enthusiast, was struck by the remarks of his guide on the bus tour repeated to all new arrivals on the bus- ‘My name is Sherry as in the French wine’ but resisted the temptation to point out it was from Spain.
Suitably battered by the whales or suffering sore bums from the 27-kilometre cycle ride, we all gathered at the Fairmont Pacific Rim in the late afternoon for a cocktail party hosted by our Striker friend, Tom O’Shaughnessy (who was responsible for the upgraded rooms we enjoyed at the Fairmont hotels). What a swell party that turned out to be from surprisingly, alcoholic, varied and somewhat lurid looking gin cocktails to oysters and caviar and O’Shaughnessy’s Angels dressed, if at all, in black snatched by Tom from the jowls of the bar to enjoy a pre Pink concert drink with us.
Having packed our Lucifer ties for the tour but not having worn them, the Captain directed us to wear them at the cocktail party as he thought it would provide some incentive to prevent us ending up legless before dinner as we would not wish to disgrace the tie. By and large it worked though one or two younger tourists were seen eagerly explaining the intricacies of golf to the Angels while supposedly fetching cocktails for some over tired
elderly tourists sitting away at a safe distance. First Justyn then Robert ‘Molesworth’ Moulsdale were deputed to bring back the drinks, which they achieved 20 minutes later only to be shouted out of the way by the Hon Scribe, Alan Arscott, who was surreptitiously making a video of the scene.
There being no spare Pink tickets we downed a last cocktail and headed off to the closing dinner at The Blue Water Café in Gastown, discovered by Derek and your scribe, on the recce. The Captain clearly had over done it at the party as his uber initially ended up at a Halal restaurant the other side of town featuring free lentil soup. A memorable dinner with suitably expensive wines (even including chardonnay for a change) chosen by David
and your scribe including a short presentation to our excellent tour leader and a word of thanks by the Captain concluded the dinner and the tour.
To sum up we all had great fun with lots of laughter and some good golf being played by all of us at varying, but not necessarily at the same, times. It was a joy to welcome four new tourists, namely Colin ‘Max Factor’ Hely-Hutchinson, Robert ‘Molesworth’ Moulsdale, Justyn ‘hole in one’ Comer and Derek ‘I have a Canadian passport’ Scott, who in a departure from the norm led from the front as tour leader on his very first tour.
We were ably captained by Mark ‘Lentil’ Dumas, who has set a suitable hard act for Bryan ‘Amanda’ Hamblyn to follow. We were indebted to Charlie ‘on the money’ Maisey, who toured despite not being able to play and settled all bills without any hysterics. It was wonderful to see Mike ‘Jason’ Bourne perform so ably in the bunkers and on the paths of the course, who, together with Alan ‘get out of my way I’m filming’ Arscott, firmly promoted all sorts of Commonwealth relations ably assisted at every opportunity by Julian ‘Judith’ Hill.
Your scribe was delighted to have his old partner in wine, David Mitchell, along to help choose and drink the wine to cries from Robert and Alan that, it was ‘like a raging dessert at our end of the table’.
We were grateful to all the help given to us by all our hosts, in particular John Nicol, and we were especially indebted to our ringers, Doug Sear, Ted Clarke and Chris Kololian.
All in all, ‘A very special’ tour. Thanks be to all.
Chris ‘Chattering’ Bonsall Your Scribe
